If My Heart Could Beat
by Heroine
Summary: A magical amulet gives Spike an unusual gift: his humanity. At last, the breathlessly anticipated new chapter is here! For all of you who begged me to write it.
1. Default Chapter

If My Heart Could Beat

Heroine

This story takes place as Spike moves into Xander's apartment. 

_Scene opens in Xander's apartment. The blinds have all been shut and it is surprisingly clean. The only blemish to his home is the big line of black paint right down the middle_

_of the apartment. On one side of the line is all of Xander's stuff, sort of crammed_

_together. On the other side is a blanket on the floor and an uncomfortable looking_

_chair. There is also a bucket of paint and a dirty paintbrush. Xander is looking very_

_dishevelled, almost wild, his hair's all a mess, his shirtsleeves are rolled up and his tie_

_is all crooked. Spike is his usually sexy self, wearing his trademark black trench coat_

_and black t-shirt and jeans_

Xander: There! You stay on your side, I'll stay on my side

Spike: Fine, but I want the TV over here. Its almost time for my program.

Xander: The hell with you, it's my TV. You can look out the bright sunny window

Spike: I'm gonna miss Passions. They're bringing in Timmy's replacement today!

Xander: You wouldn't even believe how much I don't care.

Spike: You know I bloody-well hate you, right?

Xander: Trust me, the feeling is very mutual. Now shut up. I have to work on these blueprints.

Spike (mutters):"Wanker

Xander: What?

Spike: Nothing

_Silence in the apartment. Xander works. Spike looks around, takes off his coat. Spike_

_grows bored. Puts toe over line. Xander doesn't notice. Jumps over line. Jumps back._

_Jump jump jump jump...Xander whips around._

Xander: Stop that

Spike: What? I'm on my side.

Xander: You were jumping!

Spike: Was not.

Xander: You were! You were on my side! I saw you!

Spike: So what? Is there a law that says there is no jumping in the Harris household?"

Xander: There is now.

Spike bends his knees as if to jump again.

Xander: If you don't knock it off I'll call Buffy, and you will be nothing more than more

dust to use my fancy new central vacuum system on.

_Spike straightens his legs and sits down on the uncomfortable looking chair on his side_

_of the room._

Xander: Yeah, that's right. goes back to work.

Spike_: crosses his arms and mutters_ Wanker

-------------------------------------------------------------------

_Spike reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a pack of smokes. Lights one and_

_closes his eyes for a long drag._

Xander: What are you doing?

Spike: Eating a sandwich.

Xander: Are you smoking? In my house?

Spike: Maybe.

Xander: No, no, no, no,no, there is no smoking. You go outside to smoke.

Spike_ takes another drag_: That would be a bad idea, seeing as its 2 in the afternoon,

and Mr. sun is having a bright sunny day.

Xander: Put it out or you'll belong in an ashtray.

Spike: All right all right, don't get your knickers in a twist.

Spike drops the cigarette in the floor and stamps it out 

Spike: What am I supposed to do, I'm bored.

Xander: Why don't you go have a shower? I can smell you from here.

Spike: What, and wash off all this lovely basement dirt? I worked so hard on this layer

of filth. It almost makes me look like I have a tan.

Xander: Have a shower and wash your clothes. Have you been wearing those since

you got back?

Spike: Well, yeah, these and that blue shirt, but I ripped that one, so this is all I've

got.

Xander: Spike, are you telling me you only have one set of clothes?

Spike: In a word, yeah. And I'm not wearing anything of yours, last time I put on your

stupid Hawaiian shirt and shorts ensemble, I looked like a bleedin idiot.

Xander: You are a "bleedin' idiot" _a pause. Xander puts his head in his hands in_

_frustration._ Okay, tell you what. You have a shower; I'll go out and buy you some

clothes. I don't suppose you've got any money?

Spike: Well, let me check my bankbook. Oh, that's unfortunate, all my funds are tied

up in stocks this week. Let me call my broker in Switzerland and he'll set you up.

Xander: Fine, you can owe me. When I get back, you better be clean. The washing

machine is in the bathroom too.

Spike: Well, that sounds like a wonderful plan, except the bathroom's on your side of the

line.

Xander_: puts on his coat and opens the door_. Shut up. And wash the paint off the

floor.

_He leaves. Spike looks around, lights another smoke. Takes off shirt and throws it on the floor._

_Turns on TV. Jumps over the line a few times._

Spike: Home sweet home. _ He smiles_

-------------------------------------------------------------------

_Xander's apartment, late afternoon. Enter Spike from the bathroom, wet and wearing_

_a towel. Leaves wet footprints as he walks to the fridge. Opens it and takes out a_

_Beer. Takes a long sip. Wanders around the room, picking stuff up and putting things_

_down. Stops by a mirror by the door. Is looking at the lack of himself in it when the_

_door opens and he jumps and nearly drops the towel. Enter Willow._

Willow: Hello?

Spike: Jesus sweet bloody Christ, woman, don't you ever knock?

Willow: Oops, sorry spike. Is Xander here?

Spike: nah, he went shopping half and hour ago.

Gestures to door and nearly drops towel again. Willow smiles 

Willow: You're looking good.

Spike: Hey, hands to yourself, darlin'.

Willow: Yeah, like you need to worry about me. When's Xander getting back?

Spike: How should I know? He must shop like a woman. When I go shopping, its in and

out in five minutes. No fuss.

Willow: Well, you don't usually go through all the trouble of paying for things, and I

hear that part is very time consuming. Puts something on the table. Well, I can't wait,

I've got class, so tell him I was here.

Spike: Right. Wait, No! Hey, I'm not his secretary. I've got things to do.

Willow: Like what?

Spike: Things. Important things. Lots of them.

Willow: Well, you're here till the sun goes down, and I'm sure he'll be back by then, so

just give him the message.

Spike _salutes:_ Aye Aye.

_Willow walks to the door and opens it, pauses_.

Willow: You're looking better.

Spike: Thanks Will, so are you.

_She smiles, and walks out the door._

-------------------------------------------------------------------

_Spike reclines on Xander's easy chair still clothed only in a towel, watching TV. Enter_

_Xander, carrying shopping bags. Xander notices wet footprints on floor, apartment_

_starting to look kind of messy._

Xander: Honey, I'm home.

Spike: Hey, what'dya get me?

Xander: First, lets go over some things. I didn't buy these cause I like you. You owe

me for them. I'm going to stick the bills to the fridge and you have to pay me back.

Spike: (sarcastic) Ooh, use one of those manly flower magnets. I like those.

_Awkward silence as Xander pauses midstride._

Xander: Anya bought me those. They were the first thing she bought for the

apartment. One of the things she left.

Spike (subdued): oh. sorry.

_Xander visibly shakes himself._

Xander: It's alright. Anyway. I was going to buy you some nice quality pink shirts I saw,

but I know you're insecure about that sort of thing, so here you go, basic black. I hope

they fit.

_Spike gets up and starts examining the bags. Xander walks over to the pile of Spikes_

_old clothes and picks them up._

Spike: Hey, not bad Harris. Polycotton blends, just like I like them. They breathe, even

if I don't_. notices Xander talking his clothes and about to through them out_. Hey, not

the coat! _Rushes over (as fast as a person wearing a towel can rush) and takes his_

_classic black coat away from Xander._ You don't just go around throwing out peoples

trademarks! I love this coat. Had it for years.

Xander: Why?

Spike: Its dark and scary. It gives me a touch of class. Helps with the whole

intimidation thing, and it great for blocking sunlight... And I look very sexy in it.

Xander: Plus it's the closest thing you can get to wear a cape without looking like

an idiot.

Spike: Well, yeah, that too.

_Spike hangs his coat reverently over a chair and takes the bags into the bathroom._

_Xander throws out his old clothes muttering I should probably burn these... and starts_

_to tidy up his home. Notices the box Willow left on the table._

Xander (yells): Hey Spike?

Spike (off, muffled): Yeah?

Xander:(yells) What's this?

_Spike emerges from the bathroom, fully clothed, looking his normal self._

Spike: What's what?

Xander: This box thing.

Spike: Oh yeah, Will brought that over.

Xander: Willow was here?

Spike: Didn't I motion that?

Xander: Did she say what this was?

Spike: No, but she did say that you shop like a woman.

Xander: Really?

Spike: Nah.

Xander: Oh...good. I wonder what its is.

Spike: Me too. Open it.

Xander: Alright.

_Xander opens the box._

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Spike: Photographs?

Xander takes a stack of pictures out of the box 

Xander: oh yeah, I asked Will to bring over all of the pictures of Dawn and Buffy's

Birthdays. You know, to see the gang all back together.

_Xander flips through the stack and discards pictures on the table, where Spike picks them_

_up and looks at them too._

Xander: See, these are from Dawn's birthday.

Spike: I wasn't invited.

Xander: You weren't invited to Buffy's birthday either, yet you were there. See, this

one? I popped a balloon right behind Buffy's head. You know, like a joke? Anyway, she

whips around and belts me in the eye! Look, here's me right afterwards. Look at the

swelling!

Spike: I always said you looked good in black and blue.

Xander: I didn't want the guys at work to know I had been KO'd by a girl so I told the

guys at work I walked into a door.

Spike: Because admissions of clumsiness are excellent ways to gain respect in the

Workplace.

Xander: And they still pay me. Oh, here's the ones from Buffy's Birthday. Remember?

We got locked in the house and there was a demon in the walls.

Spike (excited): Hey, there's me!

Xander gives him a look indicating dubiousness 

Xander: No that's Buffy. If you haven't noticed, your hair is shorter than hers.

Spike: No, beside her. In that empty space there. I had my arm around her. That's

why she's off to the side. (smiles) And why she has that pissed off look on her face.

Xander: That is a good pissed face. You know, I'd bet that's probably the only

picture of you and Buffy together.

Spike: Yeah, it is. The only one_. His face gets very sad_ And I'm not even in it.

Xander continues to flip, oblivious to Spike's sad face, but Spike remains fixated on 

_that one picture. Xander stops when he reaches a picture of him and Anya. She has a_

_huge smile on her face and is showing of her engagement ring. They stare in silence_

_for a time._

Xander: What happened?

Spike: What do you mean?

Xander: The farther I think back, the happier my memories are. You should see the old

high school pictures. Just me Will and Buffy. Everything was so simple, so easy, so

innocent then. What happened?

Spike: How far back are we talking here? It could have been anything. Willow losin' it,

the wedding fiasco, I'd say Buffy dying would be a big one.

Xander: No. Things were wrong before all that.

Spike: The Riley thing?

Xander: I don't think that's it either...

They sit thinking 

Spike: I hate to suggest this, but...Dawn?

Xander looks up 

Xander: Dawn?

Spike: Well, yeah. That's when everything started getting strange. That's when Buffy

started getting really stressed, Giles felt all unneeded. That's when things went crazy

and nothing made sense. That's when I...

Xander: When you what?

Spike: Forget it. It wasn't Dawn. Silly idea.

Spike gets up and walks over to the window, still holding the picture of Buffy. The sun 

_is almost down. He parts the blinds ever so slightly._

Xander: That's when you what? Came back? No, you came back way before dawn

came. Although... pauses as if in deep thought ...Maybe it was your coming back to

Sunnydale? That wouldn't surprise me at all.

_Spike says nothing. Xander starts to pace like a detective who thinks he's solved the_

_mystery. He's obviously joking._

Xander: Maybe YOU"RE the cause of all our misery!

_Spike open's the blinds a bit more, so a line of sunlight hits his hand and starts to_

_smoke. Xander is really enjoying this joke, and doesn't even notice._

Xander: Maybe if you had just stayed wherever you were, everything would have

stayed fine. Maybe it would have all turned out perfect. Maybe its all your fault.

Maybe me and Anya and will and Buffy would all have stayed happy if you had stayed

away. _He turns around_ Spike, are you smoking again?

Spike (whispers): ...maybe...

-------------------------------------------------------------------

_After sunset, Spike leaves the apartment, the picture in his pocket. He looks like he's_

_feeling angry and sorry for himself. He enters the cemetery, and sits down on a_

_gravestone and pulls out the picture._

Spike: ...maybe...my fault...I've done everything I can to make it right...didn't work...

_a voice behind him says:_

Voice: What didn't work?

_Spike jumps up and wheels around_.

Spike: Bloody hell!

_It's Buffy._

Spike: Oh, its you. You nearly gave me a heart attack.

Buffy: Heart attack?

_Spike quickly stuffs picture back in pocket._

Spike: You heard me. What are you doing here?

Buffy: I could ask you the same thing.

Spike: Yeah, you could.

Buffy: I'm patrolling. There's supposed to be a couple of vamps around here

somewhere. The only one I've seen so far is you.

Spike: Lucky you.

Buffy: Hardly.

_uncomfortable silence, which drags on. Buffy is shivering._

Buffy: So...it sure got cold fast tonight...its so cold you can see your

breath. _She_ _demonstrates_

Spike (seems preoccupied): Hadn't noticed.

_Another pause. Spike stares at the burned line in his hand, which is already starting to_

_heal. Suddenly looks up. Buffy is rubbing her arms to keep warm. He visibly shakes_

_himself._

Spike: What kind of gentleman am I? Here.

_He takes off his coat and tries to put it around her shoulders. She jumps away._

Buffy: No!

_Spike looks hurt._

Buffy: I mean, no thank you, I'm fine.

Spike: You're cold. Take it.

_He holds it out to her._

Buffy: Don't you need it?

Spike: You'd be surprised how much I don't.

_She reluctantly puts on the coat._

Spike: Hey, you look pretty wild in that.

Buffy: I always thought i would...Spike, you know I'm not going to...I mean, this

doesn't mean...

Spike: Yeah, I know. It's alright. Really. So, should we go look for those vamps?

_They wander around the cemetery, and find no sign of the quarry. Eventually they_

_give up, and sit back down on a bench. Uncomfortable silence, until Buffy puts her_

_hands into the pocket and pulls out the picture. Spike is looking at his hand again and_

_doesn't notice._

Buffy: My birthday..

_Spike looks up_.

Spike: Hmmm?

Buffy: This picture is from my birthday. Where did you get it?

Spike: Xander gave it to me.

Buffy: Really?

Spike (smiling): No, not really. I knicked it, because that's what I do.

Buffy: I remember when they took this. You were behind me. Right there.

Spike: Yeah.

Buffy: I would be willing to bet that this is the only picture of ...us.

Spike: And I'm not even there.

_Buffy puts the picture back in the pocket and takes off the coat._

Buffy: Here. Its late. No vamps out here tonight. Well, except you.

Spike: Except me.

_Buffy says goodnight and walks away. Spike puts on his coat and pulls out the picture_

_again. He starts to walk in the opposite direction from where Buffy went, when:_

Buffy's Voice: Spike!

_Spike whips around and runs down the path after her._

------------------------------------------------------------------- 

_Buffy's fighting two vamps and not doing a very good job. She throws one to the_

_ground and makes to stake him, when the other runs up and bowls her over. They fall_

_to the ground, tangled up and roll three or four times on the ground. When the dust_

_clears, the vamp is on top and about to bite her, when Spike runs in and knocks him_

_off her. By this time the other vamp is up and goes for Buffy. She kicks him in the_

_stomach and when he doubles over she axe handles him in the head and he falls to the_

_ground. She stakes him and he's dusted. Meanwhile Spike and the other vamp are_

_going at it, and Spike trips him and he falls to the ground. Buffy jumps in and stakes_

_the enemy vamp._

Buffy: Thanks.

Spike: My pleasure. No really, it was.

_Its then that they notice the body lying half concealed by the bushes. Buffy zips over_

_and checks the pulse of the young girl the vamps had gotten to before she arrived._

Buffy: She's dead.

Spike: Oh. Well, that takes some of the fun out of it.

_Buffy lifts the girl's head and Spike gets a better look at the girls face. He looks_

_puzzled._

Spike: Hey, I know her...

Buffy: You know her?

Spike: Yeah, from New York. But that's not possible. She's dead.

Buffy: I think i said that.

_Spike grabs Buffy's stake and stabs the girl in the heart, violently. Nothing happens._

Buffy: What are you doing? What the hell is wrong with you?

Spike: You don't understand! She's a...I mean, I turned her into...she's a vampire!

Buffy: What?

Spike: I turned her into a vampire in New York, years ago. I'm sure of it.

Buffy: No, she's human. Or was, anyway. Feel her body, its still warm.

Spike: How can she...?...that's just weird.

Buffy: Weird? You live in Sunnydale and you're describing this as weird? Thank you

Captain Obvious.

Spike: I'm telling you, this is the same girl.

Buffy: What ever Spike. Good-bye.

Spike: Yeah, right, bye.

_She leaves. Spike is still staring at the girl. He notices a necklace hanging from the girls_

_neck. Its very old and looks like it belongs in the magic shop. Spike slips it over her_

_head and puts it on himself. He tucks it under his shirt and heads home._

-------------------------------------------------------------------

_Spike is standing outside the apartment. He lights a cigarette and inhales, resulting in_

_an unprecedented fit of coughing. He tries again and starts coughing again. Really_

_hacking up a lung. He looks at the cig in disgust and drops it on the ground and_

_stamps it out. He goes inside and walks to the elevator. There's a Sign reading "out of_

_Order" Spike mutters something unintelligible and starts up the stairs._

_Xander's Apartment. The place is all cleaned up and back to normal. Spike enters and_

_closes the door and leans on it, breathing heavily._

Spike: What's going on?

_Spike takes the picture out of his pocket, but doesn't look at it. He takes off his coat_

_and throws it on the chair. Sits down on couch and looks at the photo. It has_

_changed. A shadow is fading in behind Buffy, of a tall male with his arm around Buffy._

_Spike blinks and squints at the picture. The shadow solidifies into a picture of Spike._

_Spike drops the picture and runs to the bathroom. There in the mirror is his_

_reflection, staring back at him, a disbelieving look on its face._

Spike: Harris! HARRIS!

_Enter Xander_.

Xander (sleepily): What? What?

Spike: Look!

Xander: Its ugly you. What's your point?

Spike: I'm not supposed to be there!

Spike Rips off his shirt and feels his chest 

Xander (very sleepy and still confused): Huh?

Spike: Feel me!

Xander: Wha?

_Spike grabs Xander's hand and puts it on his chest. Xander rips his hand away._

Xander: What are you...hey...

_Xander puts his hand back on Spike's chest._

Xander (awed): ...Its...beating...looks back in mirror. You're there. How is this possible?

Spike: I...I don't know...

Xander: Well...that's weird.

Spike (to reflection): I'm alive.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

_In Xander's bathroom. Xander has sat down on the toilet seat lid and Spike is staring at_

_his reflection. He keeps putting his hand to his neck and feeling the pulse._

Spike: Did you know I was this sexy? I mean, I knew I was sexy, but this...this is

beyond.

Xander (sarcastic): Oh, yeah, you're a hottie. We should be calling Buffy now.

Spike: No.

Xander: Why not? This is very weird. She deals well with weird. Its her job. Dealing

with weird.

Spike: Explains why she hangs out with you, doesn't it?

Xander: Very amusing. Can I still kill you? Are you still even a vampire?

Spike: I don't know...maybe...

Xander: Then its time to experiment.

_He leaves the room. While he's gone, Spike reaches up and touches the necklace_

_around his neck. Its warm too, like his skin. Xander comes back in carrying a stake_

_and a cross._

Xander: Here we go. Touches the cross to Spike's arm. Feeling any burning

sensations?

Spike: No. Nothing.

Xander: Ok, experiment 2. I'm going to put this (indicates stake) in your heart and see

if you turn to dust.

Spike: The hell you are.

Xander: Damn. I totally thought you were going to go for that.

Spike (sarcastic): Ha, ha you're killing me.

Xander: No, but I'd like to. Can you make your face go all vampy?

_Spike tries._

Spike: It would appear not. Is the sun up yet?

Xander: Just about.

Spike: That's something I'd like to check.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

_Outside, on the street. There is very little traffic in the early morning hours. The_

_eastern sky is just getting lighter. Spike is bracing himself and Xander is holding a_

_blanket, ready to throw it of Spike, should he start on fire._

Xander: I still think we should call Buffy.

Spike: Can't you do anything without your slayer? Be a man.

Xander: I guess that's what we're all trying to do, isn't it?

Spike: Shut up.

_The sun rises. Spike closes his eyes as the first rays touch his face. He smiles as he_

_remains blissfully undusted. He opens his eyes and stares directly into the sunlight,_

_squinting._

Spike: Cor. That's something I haven't seen for a while.

_He remains lost in thought, while Xander shuffles his feet and looks around. They stay_

_there for a really long time, Spike lost in the beauty of the sunrise._

Xander: Well? Now what?

Spike: Isn't that beautiful? Its like...I can't even describe it.

Xander: I have to go to work. I don't have time to baby-sit an un-undead. Don't do

anything stupid while I'm gone. Go find Buffy or something.

_Xander goes back inside and leaves Spike alone. Spike smiles_.

Spike: You know? I think that is a very good idea.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

_Buffy's guidance office. She's throwing pushpins into a bulletin board like they were_

_darts. There's a little bulls eye made of post-its in the middle of the board. She's had_

_all bulls eyes and is now making a circle around it. She squints and lines up the pin for_

_the next throw._

Spike: So this is what you do all day? Maybe I could get a job. They look easy.

_Buffy spins around shocked._

Buffy: Spike?

Spike: The one and only.

Buffy: What are you doing here? Were you in the basement again last night? Did

Xander kick you out?

Spike: No. Just came in for some guidance. Last I heard you were giving some pretty

interesting sessions with your students. I was hoping you could help me out too.

Buffy: I don't get it...

Spike: Well, let me explain it to you. See, when a man and a woman...

Buffy: Stop. How did you get in here?

Spike: I have a present for you.

Buffy: How did no one notice a man in a smoking blanket running into the school?

Spike: Do you not want my present?

Buffy: What I want is and explanation.

Spike: Fine, if you're going to be rude, I'll just leave.

_He starts to leave._

Buffy: Wait!

Spike: Yeah? Changed your mind?

Buffy: Hardly.

Spike: I'll just leave it on the table then.

_He removes a piece of paper from his pocket and places it face down on her desk._

_She moves to the desk and picks it up. It's the photograph from the night before,_

_except its changed. She's no longer alone. Behind her is a very clear picture of Spike,_

_grinning and giving the camera the finger. Buffy looks up._

Buffy: How is this possible?

Spike: Miracle of Science, luv. See, you take this thing called a "camera" and load it

with "film"...

Buffy: Stop it. Just stop. Either explain to me what's going on or let me get back to

work.

Spike: Yeah, I can see that you're busy. _Gestures to bulletin board. The phone rings._

Buffy: Exceedingly. See?

_She picks up the phone._

Buffy: Hello, Sunnydale High school, Ms. Summers speaking....oh hi Xander...Actually,

he's...yeah, what's going on?.....You're kidding!...How is that possible....no, I can't get

a straight answer either....warm? _She walks over to Spike, stretching the phone cord_

_to its limit and touches his face_...yeah, he is...I'll find out...ok...right, thanks for telling

me, I was getting really confused...ok, bye, Xander.

_She hangs up._

_She reaches up and touches Spike's face ,very scientifically, moving down his neck and_

_feeling his pulse, down his chest and feeling his heart beat._

Spike: You're really going to have to stop that, luv. My bloods moving fast and you'll

soon be able to guess where.

_She removes her hands._

Buffy: Sorry. It's just...amazing. You're so warm.

Spike: Warm as you. Getting warmer, actually. Did you know how beautiful you are in

the sunshine? You actually glow.

Buffy: Stop. You know nothing could make me forget what you did.

Spike: You're not even trying. What's it take with you? I know what I did was

unforgivable, but I'm not the only one who's betrayed you lately. One by one, your

friends turn on you, and I am always beside you. I have given up everything I was and

gone through countless torments to please you and still you treat me like garbage. One

day, when you realize I am what you want, what you've always wanted, I may not be

here anymore. You won't always have me to kick around.

Buffy: I need time to register this.

Spike (aloof): I may not have that much time. There's a lot of things I've been meaning

to do. My schedule may fill up quickly. I've got things to do, people to meet, tans to

work on.

Buffy: I never thought I'd be saying this but, Are you free tonight? We should talk. I

want to know why...this is.

Spike (arrogantly): I might be able to slot you in, if you make it worth my while. Wait in

the cemetery. I might show up.

_He walks out the door, evidently very pleased with himself. Buffy stares after him, still_

_very shocked and confused. She picks up the picture and looks at it._

Buffy: ...crap...

-------------------------------------------------------------------

_Buffy waits in the cemetery, sitting on a gravestone, kicking her feet. Enter Spike._

Spike: I knew you'd come this time.

Buffy: I don't want to play games anymore, Spike.

Spike: (sighs) Me neither. I want to apologize for my outburst this morning. I guess I

needed some time to figure it out too. Its a big change. I spent the day walking

around. Everything is so different. I feel so...well..alive. Its great to feel this was after

so long.

Buffy: I get that. Why though.

Spike: Why is it so important to you? Since when do you care about me?

Buffy: I need to know what you did.

Spike: What I did? I didn't do anything.

Buffy: Everything has a price, Spike. You can't just bring people back from the dead

without some kind of sacrifice. Believe me, I know.

Spike: Well I don't care. I am alive, Buffy. You of all people should know the feeling. Its

wonderful. And I'm not going to give it up. I finally have the chance to...

Buffy: To what? Live?

Spike: No. Give. All the pieces are here now. I have everything you need, don't I? A

beating, feeling heart, a conscience, a soul. Warm arms to hold you. I can be with

you, if you let me. I am a man. Flesh and blood. Isn't that enough yet? What else can I

do?

Buffy: Be honest with me. I need to know, I can't be around you if I don't.

Spike: That's all it would take?

Buffy: It would be a start. Why don't you want to tell me?

Spike: Because it would be so easy for you to take away. I think its this. _Pulls_

_necklace from beneath shirt_. Remember the girl from last night? I was sure I knew her

from NY, and I did. I did sire her. But she was wearing this. I took it because I was

confused. After I put it on, I changed.

Buffy: Have you really? Changed, I mean.

Spike: In almost every way. I see everything different. I can remember things I

thought and did as a vampire, and almost all the things I thought were bloody

fantastic, seem really horrible now. Its almost all completely different.

Buffy: Almost? What hasn't changed?

Spike: Little things, mostly. I guess some things I did as a vampire, I would have done

as a man too. My music for example.

Buffy: Oh.

Spike: You were wondering about you, weren't you? The way I feel about you?

Buffy (flushed): No.

Spike: You know you can't lie to me. I can feel your thoughts. I still love you. Would

die for you. Again. That's the same too. I guess I'd go about it different now, though.

Buffy: Different? How different?

Spike: Less shoving you into walls, more taking you out for dinner. He stands up and

goes very gentlemanly Speaking of which, would you care to come with me to the

Bronze for something to eat? My treat. _Holds out his arm. Buffy smiles, and you can_

_feel the tenseness slipping away from the conversation. She takes it._

Buffy: It would be my pleasure. We could get one of those flower/onion things.

Spike: Oh, they brought those back? Where have I been?

-------------------------------------------------------------------

_Week long Date Montage to Weezer's Island In The Sun. Spike and Buffy on a picnic._

_Spike and Buffy at the Zoo. Spike and Buffy at the arcade. Roses on Buffy's desk._

_Spike and Buffy at a movie (Dracula-Dead and Loving it) sharing popcorn. Spike and_

_Buffy dancing at the Bronze: the band playing the music that backed the montage._

Buffy: You know, its kind of nice.

Spike: What is?

Buffy: Not having to worry that you are thinking about biting me.

Spike: Well, I think about doing a lot of things to you, luv, but biting isn't one of them.

Well, sometimes.

Buffy: I didn't know you could dance.

Spike: When I was young you had to. Unfortunately I can only do two kinds of dancing.

Buffy: Slow dancing and?

Spike: To be honest, I don't think its really dancing. Its more sort of a mob fight to

music. Lets call it less-slow dancing.

Buffy: Right. Sounds like my kind of dance.

Spike: Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?

Buffy: Are you going to tell me?

Spike: You make the stars pale and lifeless.

The trees sing your name when the wind blows through the leaves.

When I couldn't let the sun's rays touch my skin,

it was your warmth I gloried in.

Buffy (awkwardly): oh...thanks.

Spike (embarrassed): Sorry. I guess my poetry hasn't improved with time.

Buffy: No, no. It was beautiful.

Spike: oh,...(smiles) thanks.

_They continue to dance. Buffy rests her head on his shoulder. All of a sudden they_

_hear faint screaming from outside._

Screaming: HELP! AIII! Help!

_Buffy and Spike's heads whip around. They look at each other and sprint out the back_

_doors, towards the screaming._

-------------------------------------------------------------------

_Outside in an alley behind the Bronze. Three vampires are terrorizing a young couple,_

_who are screaming. The door bursts open and out run Buffy and Spike. The Vampires_

_drop the couple and turn to the slayer._

Vamp1: Looks like more guests to join our little party.

Buffy: We're not guests. We're crashers.

Spike: Prepare to be crashed.

Vamp2: Spike?

_Fighting commences. Buffy leaps for the one closest to the couple, who are lying_

_paralysed with fear on the ground. Vamp1 and 3 attack her from both sides. She_

_blocks their punches, kicks 1 in the shin and trips him, spins 3 around and pushes him_

_towards 1, who he trips over and falls. Spike goes for Vamp 2._

Vamp2: So it's true?

Spike: What's true.

Vamp2: You're meat. You're weak.

Spike: You're weak!

_Spike lunges towards the vamp2, but without his usual style and grace. He makes_

_three attacks and misses all three times. Buffy is still engaged with her two, and_

_doesn't notice Spike's predicament. Vamp2 grabs Spikes arm and breaks it. He_

_screams, a look of pain on his face. Buffy whips around to see the vamp knock Spike's_

_head into the wall and Spike fall unconscious. She quickly disposes of the two vamps_

_and rushes over to stake the third before he bites Spike. He turns to dust and Spike_

_falls to the ground. Buffy rushes over to him and checks him over. She pulls out her_

_cell phone and dials 911._

-------------------------------------------------------------------

_Hospital bedroom. Spike is lying in a hospital bed. He has a cast on his arm and_

_bandages around his head. The only sound is the regular beep-beep of the heart_

_monitor. Buffy is sitting on a chair next to the bed, staring into space. Enter Dawn._

Dawn: Has he woken up yet? I came as soon as I heard.

Buffy: No, he's still out. Doctors said it should be any time now. _Spike cracks one eye_

_open and quickly closes it. Buffy stands up, without noticing._

Dawn (angry): So. Why didn't you tell me?

Buffy: Tell you what?

Dawn: What do you think? Why didn't you think to mention that Spike was alive?

Buffy: I wasn't sure yet. I didn't want to raise any hopes.

Dawn: That's stupid. You've known for three days, and i hear it from Anya? How come

she knew and I didn't?

Buffy: I guess Xander told her. He's been talking to her a lot lately.

Dawn: So everyone knew but me? Willow too?

Buffy: Yeah.

Dawn: Well that's just typical. Just like when Angel came back and you kept that a

secret too.

Buffy(also getting angry): Why does everything I do have to be a group thing anyway?

Can't I ever have anything just for me?

_Dawn has no reply. Buffy walks to the door._

Buffy: I'm going to get some food. Watch him until I get back, would you?

Dawn: Sure, just glad to be included.

_Buffy frowns and leaves. Dawn pauses and walks over to the bed. She touches Spikes_

_face. He doesn't respond. She puts her hand on his heart. No response. She lays her_

_head on his chest and listens to his heartbeat._

Spike: That tickles, Niblette.

_Dawn's head shoots up._

Dawn: You're awake...

Spike: So it would seem. Where's Buffy?

Dawn: She went to get something to eat. What happened?

Spike: I guess I got knocked out. All I remember is my arm...He tries to lift it and his

face contorts with pain....right. My arm is broken.

Dawn: That's not what I meant. What happened to make you alive?

Spike (smiles mischievously): Magic.

Dawn: Of course, I should have guessed. When...?

Spike: Thursday, and today is?

Dawn: Monday.

Spike: Ah. Well, I guess being human isn't all wine and roses.

Dawn: How do you mean?

Spike: Well, for example, I get tired so fast. And I'm willing to bet Xander could probably kick my ass now.

Dawn: Really?

Spike: Well, probably not. You probably could though.

_Dawn giggles. Buffy comes back in carrying sandwiches and juice boxes._

Buffy: You're awake. You're ok. Are you in pain?

Spike: Not so much.

Buffy: Are you hungry? We have a wide assortment of old sandwiches and warm juice.

Spike: Mmm, tempting.

Dawn: I'm glad you're alive Spike. And glad you're okay. I have to go to Janice's to do

homework. I'll come back later okay?

Spike: I can't wait.

_Dawn leaves._

Buffy: That was weird. She never does homework without a good swift kick in the

books. So, how are you feeling?

Spike: Like I got run over by a truck. Now I have to sit in this stupid hospital. I hate

hospitals.

Buffy: Me too.

Spike: Ya'know what this reminds me of? It reminds me of that time you knocked an organ over on me. Except then I had Dru to take care of me.

Buffy: I'll...me and Dawn will take care of you. And its not as bad as that. The doctor

said you can leave tomorrow morning.

Spike: That works out well.

Buffy: Why?

Spike (embarrased): Well, I didn't mention anything, and didn't expect anyone would know, having

not celebrated it in a really long time, not being alive and all, but tomorrow's my

birthday. Now that I'm alive I can celebrate it again.

Buffy: How were you planning to celebrate?

Spike: Well, I...I don't know. I hadn't really thought about it.

Buffy: Well, we'll have to throw a party!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

_Buffy's House, decorated in full party mode. Streamers, balloons, dance music,_

_munchies, alcohol (of course), the whole shebang. A pile of presents on the table and_

_Xander, Anya, Willow, Dawn, and Buffy crowded around Spike, who has one of the_

_presents in his hands._

Dawn: Open it, c'mon!

Willow: Yeah, that one's from me.

_Spike smiles shyly and opens the present. Inside is..._

Spike: A watch?

Willow: Yeah, its one of those sports watches so you can see your pulse rate. See?

Put it on and press this button and tada, that's how fast your heart is beating. Plus

you can take it up to 2 miles under water.

Xander: Because we all know deep sea diving is your favourite hobby.

Spike: If it wasn't before, it is now. Thanks Will.

Dawn: Me next!

_She hands Spike another present. He opens it. Its..._

Spike: A camera!

Dawn: So you can take lots of pictures to make up for all the ones you aren't in!

Spike: That's fantastic.

Xander: Give him mine.

_Dawn hands him an envelope. Spike opens it. Its a card, and inside it says "The shirt_

_on Your Back. Don't forget to breathe. Xander."_

Xander: I figured I could get away without buyin' you anything because I already did.

So this here, releases you from your debt to me for the clothes.

Spike: The one with the steady well paying job cheaps out on me, while the

unemployed students buy me watches and cameras.

Xander: Hey, just because your alive doesn't mean I have to like you.

Anya: Yes it does. Here, this is from me.

_Spike opens the last gift. As he does, Buffy slides out into the kitchen. The present_

_is..._

Spike: Underwear?

Anya: Practical and affordable. Everyone always needs underwear, so they make the

perfect gift. And they were a real deal, 5 pairs of boxers for the price of 4.

Spike: Very...thrifty. Thanks Anya.

Anya: You are welcome.

Spike: This was really nice of you guys. You didn't have to...

_He stops as Buffy re-enters, carrying a large, strangely shaped package, wrapped_

_inexpertly with a big bow._

Spike: What's this?

Buffy: Open it.

_He does. Inside is a beautiful guitar, blank sheet music and extra strings and picks._

Spike: I don't know what to say...

Buffy: Nobody writes poetry anymore. I know you have talent, so I figured you could

write music instead.

Spike: Thank you. That's the nicest...

Xander: Wait a minute, Spike writes poetry?

-------------------------------------------------------------------

_Buffy's house, in after-party disarray. Xander has left, claiming a need to go to work_

_the next day, and took Anya with him. Will and Dawn have gone to bed, they need_

_sleep for class. Spike and Buffy are in the living room, on the couch, Spike is tuning_

_the guitar and trying out chords awkwardly with his broken arm._

Buffy: I didn't know you actually knew how to play.

Spike: Of course. I could serenade you if you liked.

Buffy: That's okay. You like your present then?

Spike: I'd like anything you gave me. And the other presents too. Look, I'm wearing

Willow's watch, and we've already used up all the film in my new camera.

Buffy: I'm glad you had fun. Its nice when parties don't involve anyone getting hurt or

dying.

Spike: Perfectly normal evening.

Buffy: Yes. Yes it was.

_Nothing is said for a while. Suddenly Spike stands up._

Spike: Buffy, I can't stand it. I love you. I love every minute I spend with you, but its

just torture until I know how you feel. We've been having fun, haven't we? Going on

dates like a normal couple and all that. Everything is perfect. We can both be happy.

We can have a happy ending.

Buffy (sadly and softly): You know we can't...

Spike: Why not? I love you and I know you care about me. We're both the same

species, both complete healthy human beings. Why can't we have what we both

want?

Buffy: You know as well as I do that there are no fairy tales in Sunnydale. She stands

up and faces him. Do the list: Me and angel, me and Riley, Will and Xander, will and

OZ, will and Tara, Xander and Cordelia, Xander and Anya, even you and Dru were torn

apart here. Love cannot end well here. There are no happy endings, no happily ever

afters, just ever afters and ever afters until you die, and even then, you and I are

both living proof that even then you can't count on an ending. Sunnydale is like a love

vortex. Its all gets sucked away.

Spike(recklessly): Then lets leave. Just pack up our stuff and run. There are so many

things I'd love to show you. Pyramids by starlight and the Irish countryside in the sun.

We could go see them, you and me.

Buffy: You know I can't. I have to stay here and fight.

Spike: Don't you ever get tired of fighting? You didn't make this bed, you don't have to

lie in it just because there are monsters underneath it.

Buffy: What would you have me do? Hide my head under the covers until they go

away? It doesn't work like that. Not all of us can change what we are by putting on a

necklace. Besides, there are other things I have to take care of too. I'm sorry.

_Spike smiles gently and puts his good hand to her face and caresses her cheek._

Spike: Its all right pet. I don't even want a happy ending. I love you. I don't want an

ending. Eternal Bliss or everlasting torment, it doesn't matter as long as I'm with you.

We can make this work. There's nothing in our way. There is no past, no future. there's

just now. And right now, there's you and me, all alone, and I love you in a place where

love I not allowed to exist. Every beat of my heart, every breath I take, every thought

in my head and word from my mouth is for you, to you and about you. I don't need

forever, I need now.

_Buffy hesitates for a moment and leans up and kisses Spike._

Buffy: Now.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

_Buffy's living room, a complete shambles. Their clothes are lying all around the room._

_They are lying on the couch, naked, and covered with sweat._

Buffy: Well, I'm glad that's one talent you haven't lost. You have pretty good stamina

for a human.

Spike(out of breath): Thanks.

Buffy: C'mon, I'll walk you back to Xander's.

_They start getting dressed._

Buffy: Spike, have you see my underwear?

Spike: Yeah, its up there.

_Hanging from the ceiling fan is a pair of undies._

Buffy: When did they get up there?

-------------------------------------------------------------------

_Outside, at night. Buffy and Spike are walking down the street, one of Spike's arms_

_around her shoulder. Buffy is carrying the guitar case and looking really content and_

_peaceful. Unbeknownst to them there is a dark hooded figure trailing along behind_

_them._

Spike: Not a bad birthday. I think I got everything I could ever have wished for.

Buffy: I'm glad you liked it. I had fun too.

Spike: Really?

Buffy: Yeah, I really did.

_The figure behind them keeps getting closer and closer._

Spike: You didn't have to walk me home you know.

Buffy: I said I was going to take care of you and I am. Besides, I wanted to.

_The hooded figure tailing them breaks into a run. It is carrying a knife and is raising it_

_to strike._

Spike: I love you. You're amazing.

Buffy: I...look out!

_Whatever she was about to say is cut off by the rush of a blade towards them. She_

_pushes Spike into a bush. Buffy kicks the hooded figure in the stomach and it bends_

_over. She swings up the guitar case and bashes the figure in the face with it like its a_

_club. Spike is lying tangled in the bush, a look of panic on his face. He struggles to get_

_up as the figure recovers and stands. As it stands its hood falls back and its revealed_

_to be a demon with scarred out eyes._

_It leaps toward Buffy and fakes a swing to her face. She leans back and the demon_

_uses her momentum to push her onto her back. She falls and her head hits the_

_pavement hard, but she remains conscious but dizzy._

_By this time Spike is standing and darts in front of her covering her just as the demon_

_plunges the knife toward her. It takes Spike in the stomach and blood spurts out. His_

_face locks into a look of shock and pain and he looks down at the knife jutting from his_

_stomach. The demon pushes him aside and moves toward Buffy, still dizzy on the_

_ground. The demon slowly pulls out another knife and holds it up, about to make a_

_second strike._

_Spike closes his eyes and pulls the knife from his stomach as the demon closes in on_

_Buffy. Spike raises the knife and plunges it into the back of the demon, pulls it out as_

_the demon whips around and plunges it in again, this time into its chest. The demons_

_mouth opens wide and it falls to the ground._

_Spike gives a weak smile and collapses. His blood starts to spread across the sidewalk._

-------------------------------------------------------------------__

_Buffy fights to get to her feet and settles for crawling to where Spike lies bleeding. His_

_face is contorted in pain and his breathing getting shallow and irregular._

Buffy: Spike! Oh, god, Spike!

Spike(faintly): ...Buffy?

Buffy: I'm here.

Spike: Buffy. smiles weakly...who's..taking care of who...now?

Buffy: I have to stop the bleeding.

_She rips his shirt open to expose the wound. It ugly, and pouring blood fast. She_

_starts to rip the shirt apart for bandages and Spike grabs her arm. His grip is so tight_

_her skin turns white around his fingers._

Spike: Don't...it won't help...coughs up blood...I'm dying...ending...tell Dawn I'm sorry.

Buffy: No! _She starts to cry, and her voice becomes shaky and panicked_ I won't let

you die! Not now!

Spike: I love you.

_His grip relaxes and he closes his eyes._

Buffy(screaming): NO!

_She feels for his pulse. His heart is still beating, but only just._

Buffy: HELP! I NEED HELP! Dammit Spike! Don't die! You never died when you were a vampire, and did way worse things to you! You can't die! Its not fair! God, if you were

still a vampire, you...

_She narrows her eyes and grabs the necklace from around his neck and pulls it off._

_She checks the pulse again, its faint. Very faint. She slams the pendant on the ground,_

_but it remains intact. She stands up and searches frantically for a rock, finds a_

_half-brick and uses it like a hammer. She smashes feverishly at he pendant until it_

_cracks. Light spills out from the crack and then fades away. She scrambles back to_

_Spikes body, but finds the pulse has stopped._

Buffy: Oh, Spike. I'm sorry. Its my fault. I knew something would happen to you once

I...

_Her hand reaches up and caresses his face._

Buffy: I love you.

_She leans over and kisses him. She sits back on her heels and puts her face in her_

_hands and sobs._

-------------------------------------------------------------------__

_Sidewalk at night. A dented guitar case and a dead demon lay cast aside on the edge_

_of the grass. On the sidewalk are a dead body and a weeping slayer. She has her head_

_in her hands and is sobbing like her heart is broken. The only sounds are the roar of_

_distant traffic and the crying of the slayer. After a long while she stands and looks_

_down at the body of Spike. Then she turns away._

Buffy: Goodbye, William.

Spike: Why, are you going somewhere? She whips around and stares dumbfounded at

Spike. He's attempting to get up, raising himself on one elbow. And its Spike, actually.

Buffy: Spike! You're alive!

Spike: Well, you're half right.

_She throws her arms around his neck and holds him to her, laughing and crying at the_

_same time._

Spike: Mind the gaping hole, pet.

_She releases him._

Buffy: Sorry, sorry.

Spike: You know, its alright. Help me up?

Buffy: Of course!

_She pulls him to his feet. He stands and leans against the light post, his hand clutching_

_his stomach to keep his organs in._

Buffy: We're about a block from Xander's, do you think you can make it?

Spike: I can try. Get my guitar for me?

_She walks over to the guitar and picks up the case. Its very dented and battered and_

_there's a hole in the side._

Spike: Is it all right?

Buffy: Well, the outside is a bit battered and there's a hole in it, but everything inside

is just fine.

Spike: Well, that makes two of us then, doesn't it?

_Buffy smiles and nods and puts his arm back around her shoulder, supporting him as_

_they stagger to Xander's._

Epilogue

_Buffy's office. She's filling out some paper work. She pauses and picks up the picture_

_on her desk. It shows her living room, bedecked in party style. There's a guitar on the_

_couch and slowly deflating balloons on the wall. But it isn't centred very well. There's_

_Buffy, all alone, standing on the right side of the picture, but there's room for a whole_

_other person next to her. Her head is tilted to the left, as if its resting on someone's_

_shoulder, but she's the only one in the picture. She looks completely happy and_

_content._

_Buffy stares at the picture for a moment and then caress her fingers down the_

_empty side of the picture. She smiles._

_The phone rings._

Buffy: Hello?...Oh, hi doctor, did you get the results? ...Positive?...Are you sure?...I

see...I can...Monday?...9am...okay, I'll be there. Thank you doctor...goodbye.

She hangs up the phone and leans back in her chair, a look of shock and astonishment

on her face.

Buffy: Oh my god.

I'm pregnant.

The End


	2. chapter 2

Mid February. The bronze. Buffy and Willow are at the table, Xander, and Dawn on the dance floor. Buffy is lying with her head on her arms, obviously very upset. Willow isn't looking that composed either. Willow: Oh. My. God. When? Who? How? Well, not how, obviously i know how, but, i mean... Buffy: I'm...He...I...uhh... Willow: Its okay. No panic. Zero panicking here. Take deep breaths. Breathing is good. Buffy: I'm okay Will. I'm pregnant, not in labour. Willow: I was talking to myself. Buffy: Oh. Willow: I think the most important question is who. (off her look) You do know who, don't you? Buffy: (unintelligible mumble) Willow: Who? Buffy(v. quiet): Spike. Willow: Who? Buffy(louder):SPIKE. Willow: I heard you , I just don't believe it. Wait, now we're back to how. I thought vampires couldn't... Buffy: They can't. Willow: Then how...oh. Buffy: Yeah. I guess we hadn't worried about it before and it just slipped our minds. Willow: When? Buffy: The last night. His birthday. Willow: Where? Buffy: In the living room. Willow: Explaining the broken lamp. Buffy: And the underwear on the ceiling fan. Willow: Hey! We were all...Dawn was in the house! Buffy: We were quiet. Willow: Does anyone else...Does he know? Buffy: How could he? I only just found out today, and he's been gone since that night. Oh my god. I'm a single mother. My worst nightmare has come true. Willow: The one where you turn into a vampire and kill all your friends? Buffy: No, the one were on top of saving the whole world I have even more important responsibilities. Willow: Oh, yeah. That one's scary too. Buffy: How do I tell Xander? Or Dawn? Willow: Well, here they come... Buffy looks up. They (Dawn and Xander) are walking towards Buffy and Willow. Buffy lets her head drop back onto her arms. Buffy: I think I'm going to cry. Dawn and Xander arrive, faintly out of breath. Dawn: C'mon guys, time to shake your respective groove things. Xander: Join us in our immature revelry! Its good for what ails ya. Notices Buffy's obvious distress Hey Buff, what ails ya? Buffy (muffled through her arms): Nothing. Everything is perfectly normal and fine. Xander: Your words say "Fine", but your body language says not so much. Buffy: It loses something in the translation. Xander: And I've always thought it was a beautiful language. You know, I've always been meaning to study foreign tongues and... Willow: She's fine really. Look at her, she's...(searches for the word) glowing! Buffy raises her head and gives Willow a look. Dawn: What's wrong sis, is the world ending again? Buffy: I almost wish. I'm good at that. Dawn: So what's going on? Buffy looks around at their faces, all looking very concerned. She turns to Dawn. Buffy: You know how you've always wanted a little sister? Someone who you could boss around and pick on? Dawn: Vaguely... Buffy(timidly): Well, how about a niece?  
  
Dawn: What? Willow: Buffy's pregnant. Xander: Oh my god... Dawn: Who's the father? Buffy groans and puts her head back down Willow: Spike. Dawn: Oh. Xander: How is that possi...oh. Dawn (all prissy-like): Does he know? Willow: No. She just found out today. Xander: And we have no idea where he is. Willow: None. You saw him last. Xander: And he wasn't looking too good at the time. Dawn: How do you mean? Xander: Well, that night, I woke up at about 3:00am and went to the bathroom, but Spike was in there, staring at the mirror and crying. Buffy's head shoots up. Buffy: Crying? He seemed fine when I left him... Xander: Its a guy thing. When I'm crying about Anya, I...wait, forget I said that. Willow: Forgotten. Xander: Ayway, I didn't want to go in there, so I held it the rest of the night. I never heard him leave the bathroom, but he must have, cause when I got up again he was gone. I just figured you had dumped him again. Willow: That's so unfair. He was so happy. Cheerful, helpful. Poor guy. Buffy: And I'm the one who wrecked it again. Willow: Oh, Buffy no. Its not your fault. You saved him. Buffy: But if he hadn't been with me, that bringer guy wouldn't have been after him in the first place. I'm cursed. Xander: Its not just you Buffy. We all are. Willow: You saved his life. You did the right thing. Buffy: I ruined his life. Xander: He would have died. Buffy: I ruined his life way before that. Dawn: He wasn't so great to you either. Buffy: So many lives... Xander: I wonder if any other slayers ever had children. I mean, would they be, like Super babies? Willow: I bet Giles would know. We could call him. Buffy: Not yet. I don't know how to tell him. Xander: Can you feel it kick? Buffy: Xander, from what the doctor tells me, it doesn't have legs Willow: Buffy, you know we're behind you. Buffy: Thanks Will, I knew... She's cut off by Dawn's dramatic jumping to her feet and storming off. Buffy: Dawn? She follows.  
  
Outside the Bronze. Dawn is storming away from the entrance when Buffy comes running after her, calling out. She catches up and grabs her sister's arm, spinning her around. Buffy: Dawn! Dawn just glares at her. Buffy: What's wrong? Her sister turns her back. Buffy: God, Dawn. I'm really losing my patience here. What's the matter this time? I'm sharing, letting you in. Its not like I've been keeping this a secret from you, I just found out today. What's the problem? Dawn: How could you? Buffy: How could I do what? Be so careless? Dawn: Sleep with him again. After what he did? Buffy(unbelieving): You're mad at me because I'm supposed to be mad at him. Dawn: You said you'd never let him touch you again. Now he's gone again, and what are you supposed to do now? Buffy: You don't understand. Dawn: No I don't! Explain it to me. Explain to me why. Buffy: I don't think I can. Dawn: He tried to rape you, have you forgotten that? Have you forgotten everything he's put you through? Buffy: It's not the sort of thing you try hard to remember. But, no, I haven't forgotten. I wake up at night remembering. Anyway, he's done far worse things in his lifetime than what he did to me. Dawn turns and faces her. Dawn: Is that supposed to make it better? Buffy: Our relationship was built on violence. Everything about it...I always said no, and did it anyway. How was he supposed to know it was any different that time. Dawn: No. Don't try to justify it! I've been reading! A lot of violated women try to justify it. You can't. There's no forgiving what he did. Buffy: He didn't have a soul. When Angel, you remember him, don't you? When he lost his soul he was a different person. He was pure evil. Spike's never been that sadistic. Just violent. Dawn: What's your point? Buffy: I've been thinking about this a lot. Spike was practically a decent person when he didn't have a soul. He helped me, even when he didn't have to, helped you too, you know it. I honestly think he did love me. I've been trying to deny that. That a creature without a soul could love. Dawn: Why? Buffy: Why? Because when Angel lost his soul, he stopped. Loving me. So if Spike could love without his soul, the Angel could too. And didn't. Dawn: Oh. Buffy, I didn't. Buffy (on the verge of tears): He left me. He was supposed to be my soul mate and he left me. And now Spike's gone. Everyone leaves me. Starts to cry. I loved him. Dawn: Who? Angel? Buffy: Yeah. I still do, I guess. We couldn't be together. With or without his soul. I knew what he was and loved him anyway. Dawn: And Spike? Buffy: What about him. Dawn: Do you love him? Buffy wipes the tears off her face. Buffy: Being pregnant sure makes you emotional. Hey. Its late, we should be getting home. Dawn: Do you? Buffy: He's stronger than Angel ever was. He chose to torment himself, when Angel couldn't stand being around me, if he couldn't have me. Spike...he was willing to sacrifice everything he had, everything he was, just to be with me. Dawn: You're not answering the question. Buffy: I...you know I have feelings for him. I like to be with him. Dawn: Do. You. Love. Him? A pause. Buffy: I guess I do. Or did. He might be dead by now. Dawn: Wow. How long have you known? Buffy: You know how sometimes you don't miss anything until it's gone? When I saw him, bleeding all over the sidewalk, fading, leaving me, I realized I didn't want to live without him, human or not, soul or no soul. It was like when your ears pop, and suddenly you can hear things you couldn't before, and didn't even realize you were missing. They turn and start to walk home. Buffy: And as soon as I had the slightest chance of happiness, loving a man who loved me back, it ****ed up. Again. Just like it always does. Dawn: It always does, doesn't it. I can't think of a single romance that ended well in Sunnydale. Its like there's some sort of conspiracy. Even Spike and Dru, in love for over a century, come here and poof, Spiltsville. Buffy smiles. Buffy: We should change the name of the town. Dawn: Splitsville, California. Buffy: America's home of heartbreak. Dawn: Do you think he's coming back? Buffy: I don't know. If he does he's in for quite a surprise. They walk up they're steps and into the house.  
  
  
  
Mid April. Buffy's home. She's on the phone, leaning against the wall. She's talking to Giles in London. Her Long distance bill is getting steadily more dramatic. Giles: That's...great. Why didn't you tell me sooner? Buffy: I don't know. I guess I thought you'd be busy with the council or something. Are you.cleaning your glasses? Giles: I'm not disappointed. Buffy (surprised): Your not? Giles: No. And your mother wouldn't be either. Buffy: I'm scared Giles. I don't know if I can handle this. This is big. There's so much responsibility. Giles: You're no stranger to responsibility. Buffy: No. No I am not. But this is different. This isn't just saving lives, this is making one. Giles: You've been taking care of your sister for a long time now. This shouldn't be too different. Buffy: I wish the world was just ending. I'm good at that. Giles: I'm sure you'll rise to the challenge. You always do. Buffy: Has this ever happened before? Giles: A slayer carrying the child of an undead vampire, who briefly turned human with a magical amulet? All the time. Buffy: Giles. Less with the sarcasm, please. Giles: It has happened that slayers become pregnant, but its usually terminated by the council. One time, the abortion itself, surgery being what it was at the time, was the very thing that killed the slayer in question. Since you don't work for the council, they can't force you to do anything. I assume you have considered that option. Buffy: Not even. I want to do this. I just don't want to have to do it alone. Giles: You're not alone. You have Xander, Willow and Dawn. Many children grow up in far worse situations. Buffy: Many children won't have to learn how to kill something with a table leg. How do I explain why their mom keeps getting older, but dad stays the same age? Why she shouldn't drink the red packages in the fridge? Giles: You're assuming then that Spike will be coming back? Buffy: I...he has to, Giles. She'll need a father. Giles: How are you so sure it will be female? Buffy: I don't know. I just feel it. Giles: That's a shame. I was hoping for a boy. Buffy: Why? Giles: Then you could name him Rupert.  
  
Dining room. Dawn's surfing away on Willow's computer, making occasional notes on a piece of paper next to her. Also beside her is a dusty old tome, looking like it came from the Giles Collection, little words, but occasional pictures. Willow comes in, looking fairly surprised to see Dawn working. Willow: Hey Dawny, Studying? Dawn looks up. Dawn: Huh? No. Willow: Of course not, what was I thinking. She comes over and looks at the screen. What are you doing? Dawn: Me? Oh, I've just been doing some research. Checking out some statistics. Willow reaches for the notes and looks to Dawn for permission. Dawn gives her the go-ahead, so Willow reads the notes. Willow: Divorce statistics? Dawn: I have a theory. Willow: That it's a demon? Dawn: Huh? Willow: Never mind. A theory? Dawn: yeah, check this out. In the United States, on average, one in three marriages fail. Willow: Okay. Dawn: In Sunnydale, two in three. Willow: Hm. Dawn: Isn't that weird? Willow: I guess. Dawn: Okay, I can see you're not convinced. Willow: Convinced of what, exactly? Dawn: Look at this.  
  
She reaches for the book and opens it to a page she has marked with a post- it. On the page, there's some Latin writing and a picture of a complicated Rune.  
  
Dawn: See this? Do you know what this is? Willow: Latin? You read Latin now? Dawn: The picture. Willow: Its a sigil. A mark for augmenting spells. Dawn: Right. This particular one is for an stealing spell. Willow: We have been studious, haven't we? Dawn: According to the book, this spell sucks all the energy of a particular kind out of the area around it and feeds it to the spell caster to lengthen their life.  
  
Willow: Okay. Still missing the point, Dawny. Dawn: You can adjust it to take almost any kind of energy, anger, sadness, lust, or even luck. Willow: Sorry, you've lost me. Dawn: Luck in money, luck in fame, even luck in love. Willow: Assuming you believe in luck. Dawn: So technically, you can suck all the love luck out of an area. Willow: Okay. Dawn: Think about it. Look at every relationship you've ever seen or been in. Have any of them ever ended happily? Ever? Willow: Of course. There was...but he died. Or...no, she was a mummy. I guess not. Dawn: See? Not one! Every time someone falls in love around here, sooner or later, something happens to ruin it. That can't just be a coincidence. Willow: Dawn. People grow apart. Sometimes there's just nothing you can do. Dawn: Sometimes, sure, but every time? I refuse to believe that. There's something here, something that ruins everything. That's why Spike and Dru broke up, after hundreds of years, Why Xander left Anya at the alter, why that stray bullet just happened to hit Tara... Willow: Tara? Dawn: It can't be coincidence. It can't. Something out there is ruining our lives to give itself immortality and I'm going to find out what it is. And I need your help. Willow looks confused and unsure. Then her face sets and she nods. Dawn: Great. Now here's what we have to do...  
  
Willow and Dawn are sitting on the floor in Dawn's room, candles lit, ready to do a spell. Between them on the floor is the old book and a map of Sunnydale. Willow: Are you sure we shouldn't tell Buffy about this? Dawn: Not now. She has enough to worry about. So. How does this work exactly? Willow: Its basically the same spell I used when I first got back, to find the demon. If this mark is anywhere in Sunnydale, it'll glow real bright on the map. Dawn: Sounds pretty. Willow: Take this powder and when I say go, sprinkle it over the map, okay? Dawn: Check. Willow: Okay, here we go. She starts to chant. Dawn looks really nervous. Then Willow says now, and they both sprinkle the powder. Dawn: Well? Willow: Any second now... Seconds pass. The map itself grows steadily brighter, then fades. Willow: Huh. Dawn: Did I do something wrong. Willow: No. Dawn: So there's nothing here? Willow: 'Fraid not, Dawny. Dawn: Damn. All that Latin translating and conjugation for nothing. Willow: Sorry Dawn. Dawn: I was so sure... Willow: I guess it was just coincidence. Dawn (unconvinced): I guess... Willow: Come on. Lets go out for some post magic ice cream. They get up and leave the room, leaving the map and book on the floor. If you look real carefully, you'll notice that the major streets of Sunnydale look uncannily like the lines of the rune. It's a shame Willow and Dawn didn't notice that....  
  
Mid July(and therefore nine months). Xander and Buffy are sitting in the living room. Buffy's looking very big and very uncomfortable, propped up on the couch with pillows and stuff. Buffy: Xander? Xander: Yeah? Buffy: You know what I could go for right about now? Xander: What? Buffy: A peanut butter and pickle sandwich. Xander: As appetizing as that sounds, you finished off the pickles on your ice cream. Buffy: Oh yeah. A pause) You know what else I'd like? Xander: What? Buffy (suddenly very loud and angry): Having this stupid baby out of me! Xander (kind of frightened (and who could blame him?)): Yeah. That'd be good. When's your due date supposed to be, exactly? Buffy: It was last week. Xander: Oh. Buffy: Pregnancy's a beautiful thing, the creation of life, miracles etcetera, but I really want it over now. Xander: Don't worry Buff, any time now. Buffy: When are Willow and Dawn coming back from the movie? Xander: Well, it supposed to be pretty long, so we've got at least an hour left. Buffy (suddenly weepy): Thanks for staying with me while they're gone. You're a true friend. I don't know what I'd do without you. Xander: Hey, I said I'd stick by you and here i am. Sticky. Buffy: Do we have any marshmallows left? Xander: I'll check. He gets up and goes into the kitchen. Buffy sighs and looks down at her tummy. She pokes it. Buffy: You. Out. Time to go. Checkout time was hours ago. Xander (from kitchen): White or coloured? Buffy: Colored! Xander comes back, munching on a marshmallow. He hands the bag to Buffy. Buffy: Thanks. She pops a marshmallow in her mouth. Her voice becomes muffled. Why do they call the marshmallows? Not a very appetizing name. Marsh. Mallows. Xander (also muffled by mallow): Neither is Twinkie. That name always worried me. That's what my mom used to call...never mind. Buffy: Leaving that one alone. Give me another one. I want more marmallowy goodness. Xander hands her the bag, she reaches for it and her hand stops halfway. Xander: Take it. Buffy: Oh! Xander: What? Buffy: OH! OH! Xander: What? What? Buffy: OHohohohohohohoh! Xander: Is it time? Is it coming? Buffy: Oh! Xander: Don't panic. Number one thing, no panicky goodness. Got to go to the hospital! Where's my keys? Where's my keys? Buffy: Xander, panicking! They're in your pocket! Xander: Right! Keys, good! Got the bag? Buffy grabs the duffel bag by the door. Buffy: yeah. What about Dawn and Willow? Xander: Get in the car, I'll write them a not. Buffy goes out the door and Xander grabs a piece of paper off the table, and writes a message "Taken Buffy to Hospital. Meet us there, Hurry, there's not much time. Xander." He puts it on the table and runs out the door after Buffy.  
  
Exterior of Buffy's house. It's empty and quiet. That is, until a motorcycle come roaring up, coming to a stop at the end of the walk. On the bike are a few bags and a guitar case that looks held together with duct tape. The rider, dressed in a long black coat and completely covered by gloves and a tinted helmet, steps off the bike. He pulls off the helmet and a reveals (you guessed it) Spike. He looks very tired. Helmet in hand, he walks up the steps and stops in front of the door. He steels himself and knocks on the door. The force of the knock opens it, and it creaks open ominously. He looks surprised but walks inside. Spike: Hello? Anyone home? There's no answer (seeing that no ones home, that's probably a good thing). Spike puts his helmet down on the table and walks around the house. He goes upstairs and looks in Buffy's room, then Dawn's, travelling the house until he gets to the bathroom. He looks inside and gets a pained look on his face. He shakes his head and goes back downstairs. Spike: Maybe they're invisible... He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pack of smokes. He pulls one out and puts it in his mouth. Still walking around, he searches in his pockets for his lighter. As he finds it and pulls it out, he notices the note on the table. He walks over and reads it. Then he reads it again. The smoke falls out of his mouth and drops unlit to the floor. He puts his lighter on the table and picks up the note. He reads it again, looking absolutely panicked. He stuffs it in his pocket and runs to the door, slamming it. He gets back on his bike and races away, in the direction of the Sunnydale hospital.  
  
Buffy's house, inside in the hall. The house is silent, almost peaceful. That is until Dawn and Willow enter laughing. Willow: ...And when he slid down the stairs on that shield? Dawn: That was amazing. Are all elves that sexy? Cause if so, shouldn't we have more in Sunnydale? Willow: Well, I thought Liv Tyler looked...hey. Where is everybody? Dawn looks at the coffee table and sees Spike's helmet. Dawn: Since when do we live with Evil Kanevil? Willow (from Dining room): Ever since one of us started smoking. Dawn follows her voice into the other room. Willow is holding the lighter and unlit cigarette. Willow: Found this on the floor. Dawn (about lighter): This is Spike's. Willow: BUFFY? SPIKE? XANDER? Dawn: Where are they? Willow: I...I don't know. Looks like they left in a hurry. Dawn: Lets try her cell. Dawn goes over to the phone and dials the number of Buffy's cell. She waits while it rings, once, twice, thrice, again, then: Buffy: Hi... Dawn: Buffy! Where... Buffy: I can't answer my phone right now, but leave your name, number and apocalypse and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Dawn shakes her head and hangs up. Willow: No luck? Dawn: Not so much.Where could they have gone in such a rush? Willow: The hospital? Dawn (excitedly): You think? Willow: Must be. Dawn: Lets go! Dawn slips the lighter and cigarette in her pocket. They put their coats back on, and start out the door. Dawn: You know, you'd think they'd leave a note or something...  
  
Sunnydale Hospital, Emergency Registration Desk. Spike is looming over a very scared and intimidated looking nurse, whose frantically shuffling through papers, stuttering and shivering. Spike's face looks absolutely frantic and really scared. He slams his fist on the desk. Spike: I don't have time for this! Hurry up! Where is she? Nurse: I, I, I, I, can't find it! What did you say her name was? Spike: Summers, Buffy Summers. She's blond, about yay high, probably with a stupid poofter with bad hair. She was probably injured, or something, missing blood maybe. Nurse: What happened to her? Spike: I don't know! Where is she dammit? Nurse: I'll just call... Spike: Useless, stupid woman! He slams his fist on the desk again, knocking over a vase of flowers. He turns and goes through the doors into the hospital, pushing people and stuff out of his way. Nurse: Sir? SIR? You can't go in there! Sir? Aw, forget it.  
  
Spike wanders (or should I say walks with a specific purpose) through the hospital, knocking over people on crutches and scaring old ladies, not to mention causing serious alarm in the staff. He snarls and snaps (not literally, verbally) at anyone who comes near him. He looks in almost every room, panicking various sick people, with no success. Finally he looks in a tiny rectangular window in the door of room #730. His eyes widen. His face shifts rapidly from an expression of triumph, to surprise, to confusion, to realization and finally to anger. His hands clench into fists. Spike(mutters): Bastard! Bloody bloody bastard... The people in the hall stare at him in fear. He turns around and notices the small crowd of people behind him, watching him. Spike: WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? They shrink back, and various "nothin'"'s are heard being muttered. Spike (calmer): Right. He walks deceptively calmly through the hall and out the door.  
  
Sunnydale Hospital, Emergency Registration Desk. Willow and Dawn are questioning the same harried nurse. They're both out of breath, like they ran all the way here. Willow: Summers, Buffy? Nurse: Oh no. Willow: She's having a baby? Nurse: Really? So that's what she's here for. Dawn: What? Nurse: A really angry man came in asking for her too. I'd warn her about him when you see her. He looked dangerous. Dawn: Was he pale, blue eyes, Billy-Idol-esque? Willow: Spoke with a British accent? Nurse: That's the guy. Willow: Spike. Dawn: What room is she in? Nurse: Let me call the mat-ward. The nurse turns and dials he phone. Dawn and Willow turn away. Dawn: How did he know to come here? Willow: I don't know. Maybe he's already with Buffy. Dawn: I have a bad feeling about this. Willow: You think? Nurse: Room 730. They turn back to her. Dawn: What? Nurse: Says she's in room 730. She's in labour right now, with the father. Willow and Dawn exchange looks. They start to run.  
  
Inside Room #730, Sunnydale Hospital. Willow and Dawn's faces can be seen peering in the rectangle window. In the room, decked out in typical sterile hospital style, are Buffy, Xander, and some doctors and nurses (Sunnydale Hospital, though small, is very well staffed, with full wards and some of the best care in the country). Buffy is in labour. She's screaming and breathing and all the other relatively undignified delivery activities. Xander is holding her hand, actually looking quite useless. Xander: C'mon Buff, you're doing great. Buffy: If I'm doing so great, why is it taking so long!?! Xander: Just keep breathing. Doctor: Here comes another contraction. Push Buffy. Xander: Push. Push like you've never pushed before! Buffy: I AM pushing! No one has ever pushed this hard in the history of the world! She screams and squeezes Xander's hand tighter. Xander: Okay, ow. Ow. Buffy: SHUT UP XANDER! Xander: Its okay, I'm just losing feeling in... Buffy screams and squeezes it even harder. Xander: MY HAND! A cracking, splintering sound is heard and Xander joins Buffy in the screaming. Buffy (between breathing and screaming): Oh, sorry! Xander: Its fine, I don't use that hand anyway. Just get this baby out! Doctor: Here it comes! And out it does come, looking kind of deformed and reptilian as newborn babies do. The nurse and doctor take it away to be weighed and name tagged and all that stuff. Buffy sighs and leans back against the pillow, releasing Xander's hand. It's not looking right. Xander: Note to self. Never hold hands with a slayer when she's giving birth. Buffy: Lucky for you, we're already in the hospital. Xander: The gods are smiling on me. Buffy: Doctor, is it alright? Doctor: Just a minute, that's what we're trying to find out. Buffy and Xander look at each other. Buffy (frightened): Xander, hold my hand again. Xander: Not on your life. He sits down beside her and puts his arms around her while they wait for the doctors. After what seems like forever, the nurse brings over the baby. It's all cleaned off, looking sweet and angelic and human. The nurse puts the baby in Buffy's arms. Surprisingly, Buffy's hair and makeup are looking flawless, despite having just gone through labour. Funny. Buffy looks down at her child in wonder. Nurse: Its a girl. Buffy: I know. I've always known. Xander: Oh my god. Buffy: You doubted my prophetic ability? Xander: No, its not that, its just...oh my god. Buffy: I couldn't put it any better myself.  
  
Outside the Sunnydale Hospital. Spike is leaning against the wall, smoking a cigarette. He is just radiating barely controlled rage. A doctor comes out, wearing scrubs. He leans on the wall a meter or so away from Spike, taking deep breaths and enjoying the night air. Doc: Those things'll kill you, y'know. Spike: They can try. Doc: You don't worry about it? Spike: I'm not afraid to die. Not anymore. Doc: Aren't we Mr. Melodramatic. Spike: .... Doc: Y'know, I used to feel that way too. Live fast, die young. Spike: Leave a good looking corpse. Doc: Yeah. But life...life is the most wonderful thing. And to see a life begin, so full of possibilities, its just breathtaking, y'know? Spike: ... Doc: Everyday I thank the powers that be that I'm alive. Spike: Alive. What makes someone "alive". What is it that makes being alive better than dead? Used to seem the same to me. Doc: Well, I've never been dead, so I wouldn't know. But Life, Life is waking up and being impatient for the day to begin. Life is loving and being loved. Life is feeding and sleeping and making new life. Spike: Apparently making new life has been big around here lately. Doc: Not really. Just one birth tonight. Spike: Boy or Girl? Doc: A girl. Spike (bitterly): A girl. Little Buffy and Xander's girl. Doc: You know the parents. Spike: I thought I did. Did when I left. Doc: Been gone long? Spike: A while. Long enough, I guess. You go away, and you figure everything will be the same when you come back and its not. Everything's changed. You miss chances. You don't even recognize the place. And now I have to go again. Doc: Why? Spike: No place for me anymore. "Life" has moved on. Once again leaving me behind. Was I gone so long? Did she...did everyone forget me so fast. Must have moved very fast. Weeks. Took weeks to get over me. I travel the world, finally find a purpose, a meaning, a "life", and I come back to live it and its all gone to hell. Good place for it. Doc: Don't you think you're feeling a little sorry for yourself? Spike: Someone has to. Doubt they even remember me now. The doctor sighs and straightens up, moving back towards the door. Doc: Life's a funny thing. Good luck. Spike: Yeah thanks. The strange doctor disappears through the door. Spike pulls the note out of his pocket and reads it again. Spike: This changes everything. I'll just go back. Get new instructions. A new plan. He must not have known. Couldn't have known. He'd've told me. I guess I'LL go tell him then. He smiles. But before I go, there's just one thing I have to do. He crumples the note and throws it to the ground.  
  
Sunnydale Hospital. Buffy lies in bed, holding her new baby in her arms, gazing at it lovingly. Xander returns to the room, hand in bandages, with Willow and Dawn. Xander: I have returned, with my new friend, the plaster cast! Buffy: I said I was sorry. Hey Will, hey Dawn. Dawn: Is this cool? Buffy: Sure come on in. Share my joy. Dawn and Willow approach the bed and immediately start cooing and baby talking. Dawn: That's the cutest thing I've ever seen! Willow: She's beautiful! Buffy: She is, isn't she. I never thought I could love anything this much. Dawn: She's so quiet! Willow: And sweet! Xander: And fits neatly into most overhead compartments. Buffy: Xander. Actually, she hasn't cried once yet. The doctors thought there was something wrong with her, but they did some tests, and she's the healthiest baby they've ever seen. Xander: She is the daughter of the slayer. Buffy: I can't wait to call Giles! I want to tell everyone I know. Dawn: Just us and Giles then. Buffy: It was so funny when I told him who the father was. You could hear him cleaning his glasses. Dawn: The father... Willow: I can't believe we forgot! Dawn: Did you see him? I kinda expected to see him here. Willow: Maybe he's still wandering around. I'll ask. Abruptly, Willow gets up and leaves. Buffy: What? Xander: I second that "what" and raise you a "huh?". Dawn: When we got home from the movie... Xander: Wasn't it great? Dawn: Super. Anyway, when we got home we found these: She pulls the lighter and cigarette (now bent) from her pocket and hands them to Xander who shows them to Buffy. Xander: These are... Buffy: Spike's. Dawn: They were on the dining room table. There was also a bike helmet. Buffy: Spike's never worn a helmet in his life. Xander: Maybe he's on a safety kick. Buffy: You haven't seen him? Dawn: We didn't but the nurse at the desk said she did. She said he was really angry. You haven't seen him? Buffy: Obviously not. I was kind of occupied. Willow comes back in, holding a piece of paper. Buffy: Any word? Willow: I asked around. An orderly says he saw a man of Spike's discription outside your door. Apparently he looked really angry. And a doctor, your doctor, actually, said he talked to a really sad man, same description, outside. Said he kept talking about leaving. And something about moving on. Oh, and I found this. She hands Xander the note. Xander: Hey, my note. Dawn: I KNEW you wouldn't go have a baby without leaving a note. Didn't I say they'd leave a note? Willow: You called it. And it explains how he knew to come here. But he wouldn't have known why. Buffy: Oh. Dawn: Man, It must have come as quite a shock to see you in here. Willow: Having a baby. Buffy: With Xander. There's a worried silence. Xander: Well, that can't be good.  
  
In front of Buffy's house. Xander's car pulls up. He gets out and goes around to open the passenger side door, and help Buffy out. Xander: Come on, ex-pregnant lady. Buffy: I can't wait to get this weight back off. Xander; what weight? You look the same as you usually do. Buffy: Do I? Xander: Yeah. Buffy: That's weird. Xander opens the back door and pulls out the car seat, complete with baby. Buffy grabs some bags and they head fro the house. Buffy: It's so late. I hope Dawn and Willow get home soon. Xander: I have a feeling they'll be looking for Spike for a while. Nice of them to volunteer, so you could get some rest. Buffy: And nice of the doctor to let me come home so soon. You know I was only in the hospital for a few hours? Xander: That is strange. Buffy fumbles for her keys. Buffy: I hope they find him soon. I really need to explain things.  
  
She unlocks the door  
  
Xander: Yeah, lets explain to the crazy vampire how I'm not the father of his girlfriends kid. Buffy: That's what I'm saying. Xander: Where should I put the bundle of joy? Buffy: Is she still sleeping? Xander: Like a baby. Buffy: Well, her crib's all set up in the spare room you built for us, so I'll go put her in there. Xander: Here. He grabs the bags and hands her the baby. She smiles at it and carries it upstairs. Xander sits down on the couch and grabs a marshmallow from the still open bag. Then he gets up and goes to the kitchen. It's completely dark. He opens the fridge door and leans in, and the light spills over the kitchen, revealing: Spike: Xander.  
  
Outside, somewhere in Sunnydale. Dawn and Willow are walking down the street. Willow: So lets see...Not at his crypt, Not at Xander's. Not the school basement. Not the bronze. Not Willy's old place or any of the other strictly demon hangouts... Dawn: That was a cool glamour, by the way, the demon thing. Willow: Thanks. So if he's not there, where else could he be? Dawn: Maybe he left town again. Willow: Maybe. Dawn: See? This is exactly what I was talking about. Willow: When? Dawn: Months ago! The love/luck-sucking thing. Willow: Oh yeah. I thought we gave up on that idea. There's nothing here, remember? Dawn: Don't you think its a little odd that Spike should come back today of all days, to find that note, should arrive at the hospital at the worst possible time? To see the worst possible thing? Willow: Dawn, there's nothing here. We tried that spell over and over. If that mark was anywhere in Sunnydale, the spell would have found it. Dawn: Then its something else. I just have to keep looking. Willow: In the meantime, we have to keep looking for Spike. Lets check out a few graveyards. If we still don't get anything, we'll go home and I'll try a spell. Dawn: I just hope we find him before he finds Xander.  
  
Back in Buffy's kitchen. Xander drops the milk he grabbed and it spills across the floor, as he whips around to see Spike, sitting almost Bond-bad- guy style on the kitchen chair. Xander: Spike... s..So nice to see you. I he..heard you were in t..town. Spike: Xander. Aren't you gonna offer me a drink? Maybe a cigar? Xander: Willow and D..dawn are looking for you. Where ya been? Spike: Here and there. Went home for a while, actually. And what about you, what have you been up to? Spike advances on Xander and Xander backs away. Xander: N..not much. Actually, I have some big news for you. Spike: really. Is it good news...he steps closer as Xander runs out of room to back up....or bad news? Xander: That really depends on how you take it... Spike's hand flashes up and grabs Xander's neck, pushing him against the wall. Spike: How I take it? How should I take it?  
  
Xander gasps for breath  
  
Spike: I go away for less than 10 months and come back to find that someone has gotten the woman I love pregnant! And who do i find has done this? Her supposed best friend, Xander. Xander (chokes out): Don't...don't kill...me. Spike: Why not? I should kill you. I've done worse things, far worse things. Chip or no chip, I could kill you. I can barely feel it now, you know? Just this little ache in the back of my head. The pieces are all broken up. Xander: Its..n..not..my.. Spike: Not your what? Fault? Trying to blame this on her? How fast did you move, Harris? Was it a revenge thing? I take yours, you take mine? Xander: N..no...I... Spike drops Xander and he falls to the ground, gasping for breath. Spike sneers at him. Spike: I'm not going to kill you. She'll need you. You've made sure of that, haven't you? Xander: Spike, it... Spike: Shut up. Lemme finnish. I'm going. Here. He hands Xander an envelope. Spike: She better get this. Its for her. And her. A gift for your child. Xander: Spike! It's not my kid! Spike: What? Buffy (from doorway): It's yours.  
  
  
  
Buffy's back porch. It's a warm quiet night. Buffy and Spike are sitting on the steps, much like they did in "Fool for Love." Except this time Buffy's holding a baby. The parents both look really awkward. Buffy: So...you're back. Spike: Yeh. Buffy: Where'd you go? Spike: Been all the way around the world. Buffy: Oh. Spike: Yeah. Spike leans toward her to get a better look at the child. Its wide awake, staring around. She has unbelievable blue eyes and shocking white hair. Spike: She's beautiful. Looks just like you. Buffy: Actually, she has you eyes. And for some reason your hair. Spike: That's a little odd, isn't it. And awkward silence follows. Spike: Um. Can I hold her? Buffy: Have you ever held a baby before? Spike: Well, once, but you don't want to hear about it. Buffy: I really don't. Here, careful. She passes him the baby, and he holds her awkwardly. His face lights up with pride and wonder. Spike: She's so small. And quiet. Buffy: Healthy too. Spike: That's a relief. I kinda expected to be holding something with fangs. Buffy: I'd love her anyway. Some of the people I care about most have fangs. Spike looks up and studies her face. She's not mad at him. She looks almost proud. Spike: I'm sorry. Buffy: For what? Spike: What don't I have to be sorry for? Most recently I'm sorry for leaving. If I'd've known... Buffy: There's no way you could have known. And i knew you'd come back. Just don't do it again. Spike: Scouts honour. How did you know I'd come back? Buffy: You always come back. Spike: I do, don't I? How many times have i left, four? Buffy: Something like that. Spike: And something keeps dragging me back... The silence resumes. Buffy: I missed you. Spike: Thought you might. Buffy: I tried not to. Spike: Knew you would. Buffy: And when I found out...well, all I could think about was how much I wished you were here to share it with me. Spike: Thought of a name yet? Buffy: No. I had some ideas but nothing good enough. Any thoughts? Spike: I do have one idea. Buffy: Shoot. Spike: We should name her Tara. Buffy says nothing for a moment. Then she smiles. Buffy: Its perfect. Tara it is. Tara Joan Summers. Spike: Joan? Buffy: I like Joan.  
  
Buffy's house. Dawn and Willow come in the front door. Xander's sitting on the couch, massaging his neck with his good hand and eating stale marshmallows. Dawn: Hey Xander. Willow: What happened? Xander: You know, I'm almost glad I'm going to live a lonely life of bachelorhood and never going to have kids. Dawn: We didn't find Spike. But I'm guessing you did. Xander: He was in the kitchen. Willow: Always the last place ya look. Xander: He and Buffy are talking out back. Buffy: Nope, we're done. She and Spike come in the room. Buffy's carrying the child again, and Spike's standing behind her. Xander: So. Spike: So. Buffy smiles and elbows Spike in the chest. Spike: I'm sorry for trying to throttle you Xander. Xander: No, no, no apologies needed. Your discomfort is all the thanks I need. Willow: Nice to see you Spike. How was your trip? Spike: Longer than I had expected for one thing. Xander: And apparently lucrative too. Dawn: What d'ya mean? Xander picks up the envelope Spike had handed him earlier and opens it up. It's full of cash. Xander: All 50's and non-consecutive. Dawn: Where'd you get it? Spike (proudly): I have a job. Willow: really, doing what? Spike: Mostly contract work. Tell you later. Right now, Buffy has something to tell you. Xander: You're not getting married are you? Cause its not as much fun as you think. Buffy: Not what I was going to say, but an interesting idea to toy with. Spike: I'm still dead set against "Wind beneath my Wings" Buffy: That's an argument for a later day. Right now, we picked a name for the baby. Willow: Oh, you finally decided? Buffy: Actually, it was Spike's suggestion. Dawn: Oh goody. My niece, Cindy the bloody. Xander: Spikette. They start to laugh. Buffy: Tara. The laughing stops abruptly. Dawn and Xander exchange looks, while Willow just looks shocked. Spike: If that's okay with you, Red. Willow: Okay? I...I...okay? She bursts into tears Of course its okay. It's wonderful. She rushes up and throws her arms around Spike, who just looks really surprised Xander: I hate to ever agree with Spike, but that's a great name. Dawn: Its perfect. Buffy: I knew you'd think so. Spike, would you hold little Tara? I have to phone Giles. Its got to be late enough there by now. She passes the baby back to Spike, who's trying to untangle a weeping Willow. Buffy goes into the kitchen to make the call. Dawn (coldly): so, spike, are you staying for a while, or are you going to take off again. Spike: Don't be like that, Niblette. She looks at him coldly. Except when I have to go off on business, I'm sticking around here. Dawn: And how often will that be? Spike: Not often. I hope. Dawn: You don't know? Spike: Stop it Dawn. Don't you want to see what I brought you from China? Dawn's face lights up. Dawn: China? Spike: Yeah, let me go out to...  
  
Buffy cuts him off by coming in the room holding the phone  
  
Buffy: Spike? Giles wants to talk to you. Xander(sing-song): Spike's in trouble, Spike's in trouble. Spike: Okay. Hand off. He gives the baby to Willow, who's still overcome by emotion, but pulling herself together. Spike takes the phone from Buffy and goes into the kitchen. Xander: So that's it? Spike's back, the baby's born and named, he brought us stuff from china, what else is there to do? Willow: I bet I can think of one thing. Here Buffy, you can do the honours. She hands Buffy her child. Buffy: What hon...She smells the air. Oh. Okay. I'm on it. Super mom to the rescue. I know just how to handle this. She shifts the baby in her arms. Buffy: Spike! I need you!  
  
  
  
Epilogue  
  
  
  
  
  
A girl who looks about fifteen years old, with short white hair and blue eyes is waiting in the airport. An announcement comes over the Speakers: P.A.: Last call boarding for London, England. Rows 3-10. The girl stands and grabs her bags. She heads for the loading line. She looks very upset, like she's about to cry. As she passes through the gate, a pair of slightly older women come running full tilt toward her, calling out. The girl ducks through the gate and heads down the ramp to the plane. The other two women try to follow but are stopped by the attendants. They give up and turn around. Older Woman: damn. Younger Woman: I'm sure she'll be okay. Older Woman: OF course she will. I just wanted to say goodbye. Younger Woman: I'm sorry we didn't catch her Buffy. Buffy: Its alright Dawn, I know where she's going. Dawn: Your just going to let her go? Buffy: I have to. Its her decision. I just hope its the right one. Dawn: Me too. They start back the way they came. Dawn: You'd never let me fly to England by myself when I was fifteen. Buffy: Well, you aren't her. Dawn: No. No, I'm not. Buffy: And you wouldn't want what she has. Dawn: No. No I wouldn't. Not for the world. 


End file.
